Hi, I'm Mahirah.
This is going to be a sad post.
Reality hits me so hard and badly the moment i woke up :(
Woke up this morning only after getting a few hours of sleep :/
And , yes, i'm feeling very lousy right now :|
Dear mahirah, please wake up NOW.
He's gone.
Really gone for NOW.
Gone from your life and from everyone's life :(
Why am i being selfish and think that I'm the only one who's suffering from his lost?
His family would be in a worser state than I am right now :(
It's been months and yet, i'm not moving on strongly.
I'm not strong.
And will NEVER be.
Stop telling me to be strong.
It makes me sick.
So sick that death is all that i could think about.
Go for counselling?
It'll just make me worst.
Trust me, been there and done that.
I HATE counselling.
Hate the fact that all my darkest secrets will not be secrets anymore.
No one can help me except for myself.
But i'm not helping myself at all.
I just keep on hurting myself.
I wish I could forget things easily.
I really do.
People said stop complaining about your life, you should be grateful of what you have.
Someone out there will always be suffering more than you do.
Yes, someone's out there is suffering more than i am.
I wish I suffer more than what I'm suffering now. :(
Ever wonder what it feels like to be me?
Have you ever been so poor that you don't eat and lose your electricity?
Ever been stalked by man?
Ever been molested by an old man?
Ever been looked down on because of pimples and scar?
Ever been home-less?
Ever been cheated by someone you love so much because them grow you up?
Ever used your own money to buy all your desire- ice-cream, handphone, shoe, shirts, bag, calculator?
All that i've mentioned are what i've been through all these years.
But i never complain about my life to my loved ones because if i do, i'm being selfish and self-centered because they've been there with me :(
Dear all,
Advice makes me sick and hate myself more.
Seriously.
I hate myself but i still choose to believe that maybe 10 years down the road, I am going to be the happiest person on earth.
Time is all i need now.
I dont know how much time i may take to move on but time is all i need.
So much for saying i'm changing for the better, i guess i'm not changing.
:(
Ice-cream is all i want for now.
Shall head down to buy ice-cream after studying for SpeechComm
And i shall do my video while i eat ice-cream :)
Sorry for being selfish, self-centered, unhappy, ungrateful and mean.
I wish I'm not me.
I wish I'm stronger, happier, grateful, nicer and proud of myself and my life.
:(
Dear all of my friends,
do trust me that every moment i spend with you are the happiest moment of my life.
I swear that I never regret knowing all of you, although i do said that sometimes, i don't really mean it.
I'm thankful that you are there for me when i'm a very very sad girl.
I'm thankful that you make me feel as though i'm the happiest girl on earth sometimes.
I'm thankful that i always feel i'm a good person when i told you about my pasts and present.
I'm thankful that I'm always smiling and laughing when you're around.
I'm thankful for everything you've done:)
Sincerely Mahirah, your piggy, domo, mahilala, dimplemonster and pendek.
<3
hello kitty is so cute! hehe.
